Don’t do it, kids.

Hailing from California, Ace is not the local-est of local operations, but in my quest to bring you comprehensive coverage of pumpkin ciders I’m allowing it.

Buuuuuut I’m allowing it for one specific reason: to bring you a warning that it’s bad.

To start off with: it smells bad. Yes, there are spices there, and even some pumpkin. There’s also a smell that I most strongly associate with Nickelodeon Gak — that kind of sharp, chemical, plastic smell.

The taste never really makes up for the smell, nor does it particularly distinguish itself. It’s almost anticlimactic: sugary and pretty stock apple-juice with a side of pumpkin pie spices.

Don’t look for some Ace Pumpkin cider of your own. Try some Crispin Steel Town instead – while not strictly speaking a seasonal cider, given the competition it’s turning out to be one of the better ciders I’ve tried this fall.